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Friday, September 10, 2010
definition of cigarette
CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco
rolled in paper
with fire at one end
and a fool at the other!
definition of marriage
MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement
wherein
a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master
definition of lecture
LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students
without passing through the minds
of either
definition of conference
CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man
multiplied by the
number present
definition of compromise
COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing
a cake in such a way that
everybody believes
he got the biggest piece
definition of TEARS
TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which
masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!
definition of dictionary
DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes
before marriage
definition of conference room
CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on
definition of ecstasy
ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel
you are going to feel
a feeling
you have never felt before
definition of classic
CLASSIC:
A book
which people praise,
but never read
definition of smile
SMILE:
A curve
that can set
a lot of things straight!
definition of office
OFFICE:
A place
where you can relax
after your strenuous
home life
definition of yawn
YAWN:
The only time
when some married men
ever get to open
their mouth
definition of etc
ETC:
A sign
to make others believe
that you know
more than
you actually do
definition of committee
COMMITTEE:
Individuals
who can do
nothing individually
and sit to decide
that nothing can be done
together
definition of experience
EXPERIENCE:
The name
men give
to their
Mistakes
definition of atom bomb
ATOM BOMB:
An invention
to bring an end
to all
inventions
definition of philosopher
PHILOSOPHER:
A fool
who torments himself
during life,
to be spoken of
when dead
definition of diplomat
DIPLOMAT:
A person
who tells you
to go to hell
in such a way
that you actually look forward
to the trip
definition of opportunist
OPPORTUNIST:
A person
who starts taking bath
if he
accidentally falls
into a river
definition of optimist
OPTIMIST:
A person
who while falling
from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"
definition of pessimist
PESSIMIST:
A person
who says that
O is the last letter
in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter
in OPPORTUNITY
definition of miser
MISER:
A person
who lives poor
so that
he can die RICH!
definition of father
FATHER:
A banker
provided by
nature
definition of criminal
CRIMINAL:
A guy
no different
from the other,
unless he gets caught
definition of boss
BOSS:
Someone
who is early
when you are late
and late
when you are early
definition of politician
POLITICIAN:
One who
shakes your hand
before elections
and your Confidence
Later
definition of doctor
DOCTOR:
A person
who kills
your ills
by pills,
and kills you
by his bills!
CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco
rolled in paper
with fire at one end
and a fool at the other!
definition of marriage
MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement
wherein
a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master
definition of lecture
LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students
without passing through the minds
of either
definition of conference
CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man
multiplied by the
number present
definition of compromise
COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing
a cake in such a way that
everybody believes
he got the biggest piece
definition of TEARS
TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which
masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!
definition of dictionary
DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes
before marriage
definition of conference room
CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on
definition of ecstasy
ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel
you are going to feel
a feeling
you have never felt before
definition of classic
CLASSIC:
A book
which people praise,
but never read
definition of smile
SMILE:
A curve
that can set
a lot of things straight!
definition of office
OFFICE:
A place
where you can relax
after your strenuous
home life
definition of yawn
YAWN:
The only time
when some married men
ever get to open
their mouth
definition of etc
ETC:
A sign
to make others believe
that you know
more than
you actually do
definition of committee
COMMITTEE:
Individuals
who can do
nothing individually
and sit to decide
that nothing can be done
together
definition of experience
EXPERIENCE:
The name
men give
to their
Mistakes
definition of atom bomb
ATOM BOMB:
An invention
to bring an end
to all
inventions
definition of philosopher
PHILOSOPHER:
A fool
who torments himself
during life,
to be spoken of
when dead
definition of diplomat
DIPLOMAT:
A person
who tells you
to go to hell
in such a way
that you actually look forward
to the trip
definition of opportunist
OPPORTUNIST:
A person
who starts taking bath
if he
accidentally falls
into a river
definition of optimist
OPTIMIST:
A person
who while falling
from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"
definition of pessimist
PESSIMIST:
A person
who says that
O is the last letter
in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter
in OPPORTUNITY
definition of miser
MISER:
A person
who lives poor
so that
he can die RICH!
definition of father
FATHER:
A banker
provided by
nature
definition of criminal
CRIMINAL:
A guy
no different
from the other,
unless he gets caught
definition of boss
BOSS:
Someone
who is early
when you are late
and late
when you are early
definition of politician
POLITICIAN:
One who
shakes your hand
before elections
and your Confidence
Later
definition of doctor
DOCTOR:
A person
who kills
your ills
by pills,
and kills you
by his bills!
Almond Oil
Almond oil is good for dryness of the skin and for removing scars of old pimples.
Ground the outer cover of 3-5 almonds in with water and apply over the face daily.
Apples
Apply or drink juice of pineapple for body and facial pains.
Apply juice of green apples for fine wrinkles, cracked skin, itching and inflammations.
Apricots Apply fresh juice of apricots on face good for sunburn, itching, and eczema.
Bengal Gram Flour
Apply a paste of Bengal Gram flour with yogurt for the treatment of pimples and
other skin allergies. Apply green gram flour mixed in water or glycerine
for improving complexion.
CucumberApply cucumber juice or grated cucumber or cucumber juice mixed with juices of carrot, lettuce or alfalfa over the face for skin eruptions.
DrumsticksApply a paste of ground drumstick pods and leaves with fresh lime juice for the treatment of pimples, black spots and blackheads.
FenugreekApply a paste of fresh fenugreek leaves in water over the face every night and washed with warm water in the morning for preventing pimples, blackheads, dryness, and wrinkles.
Apply a decoction on the face, made by boiling 1 tsp fenugreek seeds in 1 liter water for a few of minutes for preventing pimples, blackheads, dryness, and wrinkles.
GarlicRub raw garlic on the face for persistent pimples. The pimples will disappear without scars with repeated applications.
Mix 3-4 raw, skinned garlic, finely cut garlic with puffed rice, and swallow with water to clear skin infections quickly.
Groundnut OilMix 1 tsp groundnut oil with 1 tsp fresh lime juice to prevent formation of blackheads and pimples .
HoneyApply honey (1 tsp) mixed with water for all skin blemishes. This will turn your skin glowing.
Apply honey mixed with milk, yogurt, and ground sesame seeds in equal proportions for fair complexion and lovely skin.
Lime JuiceApply fresh lime juice mixed to a glass of boiled milk as a face wash for pimples blackheads, and cracked skin.
MangoesBoil mangoes leaves and skin in water and apply for skin infection.
Mint Apply fresh mint juice over the face every night for the treatment of pimples, insect stings, eczema, scabies, & other skin infections.
Neem LeavesSwallow 10 fresh ground neem leaves with water to clear the skin.
Chew fresh neem leaves and then swallow with water to remove bad odor from the mouth.
OrangeApply a paste of ground orange peel (dried) with water for acne/pimples.
Papaya or Paw PawApply and drink the juice of raw papaya including the skin and seed for treatment of swelling pimples, acne, or any abnormal growth of the skin. It also removes whiteheads, boils, and spots.
Rub raw or ripe papaya on your face to get a smooth and glowing skin.
PineapplesApply or drink juice of pineapple for body and facial pains.
For removing fine wrinkles, rub the core of pineapple for a few minutes and leave for 15 minutes
Apply juice of pineapples for fine wrinkles, cracked skin, itching and inflammations.
PomegranateMake a paste of roasted & powdered pomegranate skin with fresh lime juice and apply over boils, pimple, blackheads and whiteheads.
Potatoes Apply grated potatoes as poultice to treat skin blemishes, wrinkles, boils, pimples, blackheads, whiteheads , etc.
RadishMake a paste of ground radish seeds with water and apply on face to remove blackheads.
Apply grated white radish or its juice for fairer complexion.
RiceApply a paste of rice powder with water as a poultice for soothing bleeding pimples and skin inflammations.
Sesame SeedsApply a paste of ground sesame seeds with water as poultice for inflammation of the skin due to allergies, skin rashes, and pimples.
TomatoesApply red tomatoes pulp on your face for treatment of pimples for 1 hour, then wash thoroughly.
TurmericApply a paste of turmeric powder with pineapple juice for dark circles under the eyes.
Apply a paste of turmeric powder with gram flour or whole wheat flour for minor skin blemishes.
Apply a paste of turmeric powder with sugarcane juice to remove wrinkles and to prevent skin ageing.
Wheat FlourApply a paste of whole wheat flour with vinegar to remove dark spots.
YogurtApply a paste of yogurt with wheat flour as a cleanser.
Almond oil is good for dryness of the skin and for removing scars of old pimples.
Ground the outer cover of 3-5 almonds in with water and apply over the face daily.
Apples
Apply or drink juice of pineapple for body and facial pains.
Apply juice of green apples for fine wrinkles, cracked skin, itching and inflammations.
Apricots Apply fresh juice of apricots on face good for sunburn, itching, and eczema.
Bengal Gram Flour
Apply a paste of Bengal Gram flour with yogurt for the treatment of pimples and
other skin allergies. Apply green gram flour mixed in water or glycerine
for improving complexion.
CucumberApply cucumber juice or grated cucumber or cucumber juice mixed with juices of carrot, lettuce or alfalfa over the face for skin eruptions.
DrumsticksApply a paste of ground drumstick pods and leaves with fresh lime juice for the treatment of pimples, black spots and blackheads.
FenugreekApply a paste of fresh fenugreek leaves in water over the face every night and washed with warm water in the morning for preventing pimples, blackheads, dryness, and wrinkles.
Apply a decoction on the face, made by boiling 1 tsp fenugreek seeds in 1 liter water for a few of minutes for preventing pimples, blackheads, dryness, and wrinkles.
GarlicRub raw garlic on the face for persistent pimples. The pimples will disappear without scars with repeated applications.
Mix 3-4 raw, skinned garlic, finely cut garlic with puffed rice, and swallow with water to clear skin infections quickly.
Groundnut OilMix 1 tsp groundnut oil with 1 tsp fresh lime juice to prevent formation of blackheads and pimples .
HoneyApply honey (1 tsp) mixed with water for all skin blemishes. This will turn your skin glowing.
Apply honey mixed with milk, yogurt, and ground sesame seeds in equal proportions for fair complexion and lovely skin.
Lime JuiceApply fresh lime juice mixed to a glass of boiled milk as a face wash for pimples blackheads, and cracked skin.
MangoesBoil mangoes leaves and skin in water and apply for skin infection.
Mint Apply fresh mint juice over the face every night for the treatment of pimples, insect stings, eczema, scabies, & other skin infections.
Neem LeavesSwallow 10 fresh ground neem leaves with water to clear the skin.
Chew fresh neem leaves and then swallow with water to remove bad odor from the mouth.
OrangeApply a paste of ground orange peel (dried) with water for acne/pimples.
Papaya or Paw PawApply and drink the juice of raw papaya including the skin and seed for treatment of swelling pimples, acne, or any abnormal growth of the skin. It also removes whiteheads, boils, and spots.
Rub raw or ripe papaya on your face to get a smooth and glowing skin.
PineapplesApply or drink juice of pineapple for body and facial pains.
For removing fine wrinkles, rub the core of pineapple for a few minutes and leave for 15 minutes
Apply juice of pineapples for fine wrinkles, cracked skin, itching and inflammations.
PomegranateMake a paste of roasted & powdered pomegranate skin with fresh lime juice and apply over boils, pimple, blackheads and whiteheads.
Potatoes Apply grated potatoes as poultice to treat skin blemishes, wrinkles, boils, pimples, blackheads, whiteheads , etc.
RadishMake a paste of ground radish seeds with water and apply on face to remove blackheads.
Apply grated white radish or its juice for fairer complexion.
RiceApply a paste of rice powder with water as a poultice for soothing bleeding pimples and skin inflammations.
Sesame SeedsApply a paste of ground sesame seeds with water as poultice for inflammation of the skin due to allergies, skin rashes, and pimples.
TomatoesApply red tomatoes pulp on your face for treatment of pimples for 1 hour, then wash thoroughly.
TurmericApply a paste of turmeric powder with pineapple juice for dark circles under the eyes.
Apply a paste of turmeric powder with gram flour or whole wheat flour for minor skin blemishes.
Apply a paste of turmeric powder with sugarcane juice to remove wrinkles and to prevent skin ageing.
Wheat FlourApply a paste of whole wheat flour with vinegar to remove dark spots.
YogurtApply a paste of yogurt with wheat flour as a cleanser.
What is the hardest thing to break ?
The answer is…. HABIT.
If you break the H, you still have A BIT.
If you break the A, you still have BIT.
If you break the B, you still have IT!!!
After you break the T in IT, there is still the 'I'.
The person at the end of the day, is the root of all the problems.
Now, I know why HABIT is so hard to break.
Its destiny is in its name.
The answer is…. HABIT.
If you break the H, you still have A BIT.
If you break the A, you still have BIT.
If you break the B, you still have IT!!!
After you break the T in IT, there is still the 'I'.
The person at the end of the day, is the root of all the problems.
Now, I know why HABIT is so hard to break.
Its destiny is in its name.
Easy and fun trick with your notepad.
Lets try, now open a blank notepad file:
I. Write .LOG as the first line of the file and press enter.
II. Save your notepad file name and close it.
III. Double-click again your notepad file to open notepad and opinion added that
the date and time at the end of the file... !! And place the cursor on the next line.
IV. Enter your notes and then save and close the file.
V. Every time you open the notepad file, Notepad repeat the process, adding the
date and time automatically at the end of the roster and placing the cursor below.
Lets try, now open a blank notepad file:
I. Write .LOG as the first line of the file and press enter.
II. Save your notepad file name and close it.
III. Double-click again your notepad file to open notepad and opinion added that
the date and time at the end of the file... !! And place the cursor on the next line.
IV. Enter your notes and then save and close the file.
V. Every time you open the notepad file, Notepad repeat the process, adding the
date and time automatically at the end of the roster and placing the cursor below.
Three contractors . .
One from India, another from Germany and the third from England are bidding to repair the White House fence.
A senior White House official takes them to examine it.
The English contractor : takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works on some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says. "I figure the job will cost $900 . . . $400 for materials, $400 for labour and $100 profit for me."
The German contractor : also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700 . . . $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Indian contractor doesn't measure or do any figuring, but leans over to the White House official and whispers: "$2,700."
The official incredulously says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
"Easy," the Indian explains, "$1,000 for you, $1,000 for me and we hire the guy from Germany to do the work!"
Guess who got the contract...........!!
One from India, another from Germany and the third from England are bidding to repair the White House fence.
A senior White House official takes them to examine it.
The English contractor : takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works on some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says. "I figure the job will cost $900 . . . $400 for materials, $400 for labour and $100 profit for me."
The German contractor : also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700 . . . $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Indian contractor doesn't measure or do any figuring, but leans over to the White House official and whispers: "$2,700."
The official incredulously says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
"Easy," the Indian explains, "$1,000 for you, $1,000 for me and we hire the guy from Germany to do the work!"
Guess who got the contract...........!!
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